Why Batman Never Gets Hurt
by Dragonrider7
Summary: Anyone ever wonder why Batman never gets hurt and why he doesn't have any scars? Well here's my take on it. Just a little question me and my freind rambled on for a bit in school but it's still good!
1. The Battle That Started It All

**Okay this is a little plot bunny that just kept hopping around in my brain so here you go. It's a question that I've been asking myself forever. Thank Skittlesrock1993 if you like this story. We both thought it up together so I can't take full credit.**

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Disclaimer: I don't own the Justice League.

Why Batman Never Gets Hurt chapter 1: The Battle That Started It All

A crash echoed through the empty streets of New York as an SUV was launched through the large glass window of a convenience store. Shouts and ear shattering booms followed the SUV as a giant robot rounded the corner of the street.

New York was one of the largest cities in the world and notorious for attracting crime. The Justice League had received a call that Lex Luthor had once again escaped from prison and had once again formed a team of supervillans to fight against the Justice League.

The team consisted of Black Manta, Joker, Shade, Cheetah, and Scarecrow. Clark was currently battering Manta's robot, Diana was taking care of Shade, J'onn was fighting Joker, much to Batman's dismay, and Shayera and Green Lantern were tag teaming against Scarecrow, while Batman fought Cheetah. Showing an amazing amount of agility and cunning while doing it.

Cheetah released a feral snarl as Batman neared her. Her legs coiled and sprung as she flipped onto the building behind her and began scaling it with the use of her claws. Batman donned his own climbing claws and chased after her.

"Where's Bats?" Flash asked as he zipped onto to the scene. It had been his job to locate Lex and take him out fast. Apparently that job was done.

"Up there." Superman pointed towards a nearby twelve story building. Superman had finished off Black Manta and flown him out before the robot exploded. He had him by the back of his costume now.

"Is he crazy?"

By now almost everyone had been taken down the only ones left were Joker and Scarecrow. Superman and Flash stared at the scene in front of them. They watched as Batman caught up with her and grabbed her ankle. She kicked him in the face and he lost his grip dragging her down with him.

"We gonna help him?" Wally asked

"I'm pretty sure he can handle this." Clark responded.

Their eyes grew large as the two fell still fighting. Batman's cape flapping and concealing most of the battle as the two fell. Bruce's arm suddenly shot out and caught the edge of the building. Cheetah caught herself and began leaping towards the top with Batman mere inches behind her.

Scarecrow was soon down and everyone teamed up to take out Joker. The battle lasted for a short time before he was down as well. Soon everyone's attention was drawn to Batman's battle that had made its way to the roof of the twelve story building.

"I'm going to have tease him about taking so long." Flash chuckled.

They watched as Batman leapt around the rooftop followed closely by Cheetah. He turned and landed a kick to her chest. She snarled angrily and struck him, claws extended. He dodged and she hit the ventilation shaft sending a flurry of sparks flying egnighting Batman's cape. Everyone on the ground tensed but then relaxed as he threw it away.

Batman dodged blow after blow unknowingly making his way towards the edge of the roof. The rest happened so fast that no one realized what happened until it was too late. Batman was pressed against the edge, he was caught off guard and began to lose his balance, one last blow from Cheetah sent him toppling over the edge.

They waited for him to swing back up using one of his cables but he never did. It was then that they noticed the yellow strip that Cheetah was holding. Batman's utility belt.

Clark shot up and flew around to the other end of the building as fast as he could with the intent of catching Bruce before he hit the ground but that was not the case. He came around the corner just in time to see his friend hit the stony sidewalk.

He hovered above Batman too shocked and upset to move. He looked down at his friend and his mind took in all the details of Batman's body.

His mask was off revealing two glassy eyes staring blankly ahead. His head was twisted in an awkward position while his lower body was twisted around backwards. His wrist was folded in half while his right leg more resembled a broken fortune cookie than an appendage. A small metal pole had impaled the left side of his chest leaving blood pooling out from him and dripping onto the cement. There was a small crater of cracked cement where he had landed.

Clark couldn't look at him one more second and turned away. He was about to fly back to the rest of the team when a crunch reached his ears.

He looked back down to see Bruce snap his neck back into place rolling it around and jolting it from side to side as the bones set back in place. Clark's eyes grew wide as Bruce sat up freeing himself of the pole that had impaled his chest. He rolled, grabbed his hips and twisted his lower half back into place, more crunches were heard as he did this. He grabbed his wrist and jerked it back and straightened it out.

He leaned down to his legs and began twisting it. Various crunches and pops were heard and after this was done he stood up. Supporting himself on his right leg. As soon as he put weight on his left it snapped in half with a sickening wet crunch as the bone pierced his flesh he winced and fell over.

He grabbed the leg once again and twisted it sharply to the left. Hitting it to make sure it set right then got up. It was then that he looked up and spotted Clark who was so shocked that he fell from the sky and landed with an awkward crash in front of Batman.

He stood up and threw a glare in Batman's direction whose look of surprise changed to his famous Bat glare that made Clark want to run for cover.

"We need to talk." He ordered darkly.

He wrapped his cape around himself to cover up the hole in his suit and walked away without a scratch. Fell off a twelve story building and walked away without one tiny mark or bruise.

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**Well there you go**. **Do you like it?** **I thought about this chapter so hard before writing it. I know it's short but I couldn't really lengthen it without making it boring. Review please!**


	2. Explanations

**Okay here we go. I hope you people like this chapter. I had to rewrite it cause my computer is being retarded. Review please!**

Disclaimer: Don't own the JL but if I did there would be changes.

Why Batman Never Gets Hurt chapter 2: Explanations

Batman walked around the corner of the building to see the rest of the league staring at the corner with tense looks. They all visibly relaxed as he came into view. Clark walked out trying to control his expression as he looked at the other leaguers.

"You okay?" Wally asked the Dark Knight.

"Do I look hurt? Where's Cheetah?"

"Diana caught her after you fell. She got your belt back too."

Bruce turned his head to the side a bit to see Diana. She was holding Cheetah by the back of her neck with one hand and his belt with the other. He walked over and grabbed it giving a slight nod to Diana as he did so.

After fitting his belt back on he removed a remote from his pocket. A beep sounded as he hit a button and the roar of his jet became audible. He pulled a cable from one of the many pockets in his belt and fired it into the air as his jet flew by. It hooked onto the wing and he was yanked into the air his cape flying backwards to reveal the large hole in his suit briefly.

Everyone simply smiled as the Javelin set itself down next to them. Everyone boarded it and headed back to the watchtower to wait for the next emergency that needed their attention. All that is except Clark he took off after Batman's plane. Saying that he was going to make sure that Bruce wasn't injured everyone knew he had a habit of hiding when he was hurt.

In The Batcave:

"What the heck was that back there Bruce?!"

"That was something I have kept well hidden for almost my entire life." Bruce looked up from repairing his suit.

"But what was it?"

Batman let out a long loud sigh as he set his suit down.

"You know how I am one of the few people out there who run around beating up criminals without powers?"

"Yeah."

"Well that's not true."

"What do you mean it's not true? What part."

"What part do you think!?"

"….So you do have superpowers?"

"I prefer to call them abilities and yes I do. I can heal."

"You can heal. To what extent?"

"Let's say I need my head."

"How much of it?"

"Half. Exactly half any less I'm not coming back."

"And you never told anyone!?"

"Hey I prided myself in not having any powers and because I don't have any powers people underestimate me so I get to beat the tar out of unsuspecting people everyday and that…is the funnest part."

"That's no reason to keep secrets from us."

"As I said I prided myself in the fact that I had no powers and could still kick all your butts to Pluto and back."

"Ha ha. Still Bruce."

"Yes Alfred does know."

"Well what about that time when you grabbed that missile with the javelin and crashed you were pretty banged up."

"Faked it. No one comes out of that unscathed."

"The X-rays?"

"Reprogrammed them to show broken bones for one X-ray."

"When did you have time to do that?"

"When you left me alone in the room for over a minute."

"Well that makes sense."

"You're taking this well."

"What'd you expect?"

"Well I mean you don't think this is weird?"

"Weird how?"

"I just fell off a twelve story building and there's not a mark on me!"

"Then what's that?" Clark said as he pointed to Bruce's side.

Bruce looked at he paled face of his friend and followed his gaze to find three bloodied ribs protruding from his side.

"Psh! great." He mumbled as he set his fingers on them.

A wet grinding noise was heard as he shoved the three ribs back into his side. He kept a straight face as he did this.

"Okay that just makes me sick."

"I hate it when I break my neck. It gets kinked up for the rest of the week." He said as he cracked it.

Clark shivered.

"Oh I'm sorry." Bruce said as an evil grin formed on his features. "Does that bother you?"

_Crack!_

Three days later:

"Hey Bats how you doing I haven't seen you in a while." Flash raised his voice happily as he neared Bruce and Clark as they talked.

Bruce just turned and stared at him menacingly.

"What I didn't do anything….yet."

"You're breathing." Bruce growled as he stood up.

Wally screeched and tore out of the room faster jackrabbit in a jetpack.

Bruce sat down in the chair opposite of Clark and allowed a small smirk to grace his features.

"You enjoy scaring Wally that much?" Clark chuckled as he eyed his friend.

"Maybe." The Dark Knight responded.

_Crack_

Clark shivered again letting out a shaky gasp as he did so.

Bruce got up and leaned in closer to Clark. Until he was just inches from his face and twisted his head sharply.

_Crack_

"Dah! Stop it!" Clark shouted as he jumped up from his seat.

"But then again….that's pretty fun too."

"Stop doing that. It freaks me out!"

"And why is that?"

_Crack_

"Cause I keep seeing you with your neck snapped. It's just freaky alright!"

"Batman smiled evilly at the world famous superhero.

_Crack_

Clark shivered and winced.

"Man of steel indeed." He teased his friend. "Boyscout."

"Hey Bats, Clark." Shayera said as she entered the room. "Move your butts to the meeting hall. It time for that weekly meeting."

"THANK YOU!" Clark shouted and flew off in a blur.

Shayera threw a confused look in Bruce's direction. He shrugged at her and walked out of the monitor room and into the hallway chuckling to himself as he did so.

"This week is going to be fun." He muttered to himself as he walked through the doorway of the meeting hall.

**Okay there we go. Sorry this chapter is so short. But anyway better one to come I've got a lot on my plat right now. Like my stupid f***ing Home Ec. Teacher!!!! Aaaugh!!!!! **


	3. Banning Prank Weapons

**Here we go I laughed my butt off writing this and I hope you do too but I also hope you can reattach it later. Enjoy and thank you so much for reading. By the way I changed a tiny bit in the end of the last chapter because I felt I was rushing into things plus this chapter is just too funny to pass up.**

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Disclaimer: I do not own the JL or its characters.

Why Batman Never Gets Hurt Chapter 3: Banning Prank Weapons

Superman was in the meeting room before he could even blink. Why did Bruce enjoy torturing him? Then again he was probably the only one Bruce could torture like this and then a thought hit him. Bruce's chair was right next to his.

"_Oh boy." _Clark thought as Bruce took his seat with a sly smirk on his face.

They held meetings like this about once every week unless it was an emergency and this was simply one of those weekly meetings. There wasn't much to be addressed but, there were a few matters that no one wanted to put off.

"Because of recent events we need to make a list of items that need to be banned from the watchtower or rules regarding certain items." J'onn began.

"Did I miss something? List? What?" Shayera sputtered from her seat as her wings rustled slightly.

She had been gone for about a week, the entire league had decided that she needed some time off. The league would do that from time to time and send stressed league members off on a small vacation. They had only dared do that to Batman twice and they were on _very _special occasions. Though everyone agreed that Bruce needed at least a month's vacation.

Clark shivered and Bruce snapped his neck to the side cracking it loudly. No one else seemed to hear as they went on with the meeting like nothing was wrong. Clark sighed, with a slight tremor in his voice, dreading the next half hour or so.

_Christmas lights can only be used for the decoration of the __Watchtower__._

_Silly putty is not allowed on board the Watchtower._

_Rubber ducks will not be used for interrogation._

_Making jelly bean snakes is prohibited_

_Banana peels belong in the trash can __not__ in the hallways._

Bruce rubbed the back of his neck, remembering his embarrassing encounter with the rouge banana peel. He had been in a heated argument with Superman when he had slipped on the traditional banana peel and he had done something he _never _did, he yelped in surprise as he flew back and landed flat on his back. It had knocked the wind out of him and Superman could not contain his laughter at the fact that _batman _had slipped on a banana peel. Turns out that Flash had set up a trap for Diana using the peel but Batman had been caught in the middle.

"That is going to haunt me for the rest of my life." Bruce muttered while Clark snickered in his seat.

Batman glared darkly at Superman when an evil grin creeped into his stare.

_Crack_

Clark shivered.

_Any and all types of Nerf Warfare are not allowed._

Batman received three burning glares while Flash and Diana burst out laughing.

"They started it." Batman replied to the glares with a smirk as he pointed at the two laughing league members.

The next rule got the same reaction.

_The construction and use of Styrofoam packing peanuts grenades is not allowed._

The epic Nerf War had started soon afterBatman had been caught in yet another of Flash's and Diana's pranks and Clark had given his clear instruction that he could exact revenge on the pair but, he could not use any actual weapons and that included his own body. Batman had disappeared for a few minutes but came back wielding a Nerf bat. He had caught the two preparing yet another prank and had proceeded to beat the monkey shit out of them with the Nerf bat and the two had retaliated with Nerf guns. It turns out that Bruce had a whole closet filled with Nerf weapons just in case the league needed a little "stress relief". He had also constructed grenades that launched packing peanuts in every direction when detonated and the cafeteria had been turned into a battlefield. Superman finally intervened, funny as the whole thing was. He decided to end it when the Nerf swords were drawn. All weapons were confiscated but, Batman was allowed to keep the Nerf closet for emergency stress relief situations. It was forever known as the Emergency Stress Relief Closet or the E.S.R. Closet. All rules would be exempt from any of those E.S.R. situations. He also had a spare closet filled with Wiffle Bats but, no one even knew where that one was.

_Flash is not allowed to have mashed potatoes without supervision._

"Two words. Food. Fight." John informed Shayera.

"Took me forever to get the grape juice out of my cape." Superman mumbled as he examined his scarlet cape.

"I missed one heck of a week." Shayera stated as she reviewed the list forming on the computer screen.

"Will you stop that!!!?" Clark suddenly shouted causing all eyes to turn to Superman and Batman as the former glared daggers at the black clad superhero next to him.

"Batman whatever you're doing to Superman, stop." Diana chastised.

_Crack_

"Stop it!" Clark shouted with a shiver.

"Batman, move. Over here. Now." Diana shouted signaling to a nearby chair.

"Yes mother." Bruce teased as he moved.

"You're ornery today." Hawkgirl said as he reseated himself.

"I prefer the term mischievous. I'm in a good mood."

_Tone deaf superheroes will not help in interrogations._

A shiver simultaneously moved through all who were there for the experience and As the meeting continued Clark gave Bruce a look that said _'you have to tell them.'_

Bruce looked back at him, _'They don't need to know.'_

'_It'll put everyone at ease.'_

'_At ease about the fragile human you mean.'_

'_That's not what I meant.'_

'_Then what did you mean Kent?' _Bruce glared.

'_I mean they wouldn't have to worry about you getting hurt.'_

'_Is this about them or you Clark?'_

'_Stop twisting this around!' _Now Clark was glaring

'_I'm not twisting anything around!' _Bruce's glare deepened into the infamous Batglare.

"What's going on? They've been staring at each other for the past few minutes." Flash whispered as everyone noticed the pair's silent conversation.

'_Yes, you are.'_

'_Then you should be more careful with your words if you don't want me "twisting" anything.'_

'_Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.' _Clark's look softened.

'_Well you did. You think I don't know that I'm human? I do. So, stop going on about it because I'm not as powerful as you.'_

'_Land sakes Bruce look at yourself. You can heal to almost any extent. You could probably take on all of us and win.'_

'_Too bad you didn't have that confidence before you found out.' _The icy bitterness in Batman's eyes pierced Superman like a deadly blade.

"Guys!" John called to the pair.

"What!?" They both responded.

At that moment the alarms buzzed and J'onn leaped from his seat to the computer console to see what was the matter. As his fingers clacked on the keys several photos and files sprang onto the screen with many pages of reports on the various perpetrators.

"Lex and his new Injustice Gang have escaped from prison." He informed them.

"Already?" Diana nearly shouted.

"Yes."

"Great, let's go try and find them." Flash stated as he stood and began moving toward the door followed by everyone else.

"You tell them or I will." Clark whispered as he pulled up beside Batman.

"You tell anyone and I will take the biggest hunk of kryptonite you have ever seen and shove it up your ass." Bruce hissed back before pulling ahead, cape rustling various threats behind.

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**There you have it. Another installment in this story. I love this chapter and already have the next one written. I will update this ASAP. Thanks for reading have a great day and happy Thanksgiving!**


	4. Escaped!

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****Okay I'm starting up on my stories again and hopefully I haven't lost my moxie. Here Moxie! Here Moxie! Okay hope you all enjoy the chapter and if you have any things you would love to see just put it in your review and I'll throw it in if I can make it work. Thanks for sticking with me. I love all of you guys. Enjoy and review!**

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Why Batman Never Gets Hurt Chapter 4: Escaped!

Lex Luthor didn't know why on earth he even bothered trying to get the other villains to team up and take down and Justice League. They never followed the plan and that was why they always got caught.

"Did everyone get out?" He asked as everyone gathered around him.

He received several yeses and nods in response. It wasn't that he was worried about them, not at all in fact. He didn't give a damn whether they lived or died. It was just that is anyone was left behind the plan wouldn't work.

"Then let's go!" He shouted to everyone as he turned.

They had decided on an old crumbling ware house in Gotham. Upon their arrival Lex began formulating a plan and keeping the rest of the "team" from killing each other.

"I've got it!" He shouted.

Everyone turned toward him to listen to the plan he had devised.

"We've been going about this all wrong." He told them. "Our problem is that we've been going after all of them at a time and when we go after all of them we get beaten...badly I might add." He paused to let his words sink in and then began pacing. "What we need to do is stop focusing on the group and start focusing on the individuals. That's right. We capture them all. One…by…one."

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**The Next Day:**

Monitor duty wasn't all that bad. It gave him time to think on all of the things in his life. It was a time to sit back and relax instead of getting ground into the pavement by various super villains, but it was boring. Even to a guy like J'onn it was very boring.

Wally wasn't even there to bug him. The rest of the League had gone out to help with a fire in Gotham that had covered three city blocks. It was mostly old and abandoned warehouses, but it was moving toward a more populated area.

He sighed and tried to resist the thought of taking a nap when the alarms went off. He hit a number of buttons on the control panel before getting the results of the disturbance. It looked like Lex's team, which had escaped the night before, were hitting a bank in Chicago.

"Superman, Lex's team is robbing a bank in Chicago. I will meet you there when you are done." He spoke into his comm link.

"_Sure. See you J'onn. Be careful."_ Clark shouted through the crackling of fire as he raced civilians out of the warehouses. A few homeless people had taken up shelter in them and had become trapped when the fire ravaged the warehouses.

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J'onn landed the Javelin on the roof of the large bank that help Lex's team of super villains. He ghosted down into the bank to find people laying unconscious on the floor and Lex's team, or part of it, inside the bank vault.

He jumped right into action, not wasting a second; he slammed his fist into Cheetah's face knocking her across the room. He flew toward Scarecrow and knocked him to the ground. Cheetah readied a blow from behind, but he ghosted through Scarecrow and through the floor causing her to hit Scarecrow.

A loud boom thundered through the vault as Black Manta blew a hole in the side of the building. The three ran through it and into the streets.

By the time J'onn had come back up through the floor they had gone, but he saw Cheetah's tail disappear around the corner and he took chase. The group hopped into a car with their stolen goods and floored it. J'onn could barely keep up with the roaring Lamborghini as it raced through the streets.

He drew his hand back as he flew above the speeding car. He flew straight down and ghosted through the engine pulling out essential wires and small parts along the way. The car sputtered and coughed as it coasted to a stop and the group inside bailed. They ran a few blocks before turning into a building and barricading the door behind them. J'onn almost laughed at the futility of their actions.

J'onn ghosted through the large door and into the building. He entered to find no one. The place was empty. There was no trace of anyone in the building. Yet J'onn could sense the waiting presences of the entire Lex team.

He jumped to the side as Cheetah lunged at him with a snarl. He spun around striking her in the back of the head as she jumped out. Next came Scarecrow. Flying out of the darkness with Joker right behind him. Scarecrow attacked him right out while Joker threw a package of marbles on the floor, laughing his insane sinister laughter while doing so.

J'onn threw Scarecrow on top of Cheetah as she began to rise from the floor. He flew into the air as the marbles crashed into each other, freezing the floor with the liquid nitrogen inside of them.

Next came Black Manta. He stepped from the darkness with a gun in his armored grip, but before he could pull the trigger J'onn stretched his arm over enveloping Black Manta's hand and pulling away with the gun in his green hand. He broke it in half and rushed Manta but was hit by Joker's boxing glove instead.

He sensed them all. Every single team member and he could feel them inside the building. All, that is, except for Luthor himself. Why would Luthor not be here? Wasn't he the leader? He had escaped with the rest of them. Perhaps he doesn't know about this or maybe they left him but remained a team. These questions would have to wait though.

The silence in the building was broken abruptly by Joker's insane laughter.

"_J'onn we're on our way. The fire's out and we're tracking your position."_

"You see boys? Everything's working out just fine." The Joker's haunting voice echoed through the empty building. "First one, then another. One…by…one, they will fall."

Suddenly they all jumped out of the shadows and J'onn was nearly overwhelmed by them all. They attacked with at the same time with rehearsed precision. They had been practicing. J'onn took off toward the roof but as he did Cheetah grabbed a hold of his ankle and pulled him back down to the floor. As they all moved after him again a shifted into a giant snake and looped himself through all of them. He slithered back and coiled around them, trapping them in his iron grip.

"I'm surprised J'onn." Joker gasped. "Don't you smell it? One down, six to go."

At this point Lex emerged from the shadows of the room, fist extended he walked fearlessly toward J'onn and a small device glittered by his temples. J'onn hissed menacingly at he man as he approached.

"What is the Martian's biggest weakness?" He asked smugly as he flipped something around in his fingers. He flipped the object upright.

A lighter!

"Fire." He struck it and threw it to the floor.

"About that smell J'onny old boy?" Joker sang.

"Gasoline." Everyone chuckled.

J'onn's eyes grew wide as a ring of fire was ignited around him. His shape faded and he fell to the ground gasping for breath.

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**There we go. I have to work on some of my other stories now. Till next time Chow!**


	5. NOTICE!

Hey guys. Oh my god I am sooooooo sorry for not updating in FOREVER! To be honest I am not sure when I will update again. I have everything planned out and I DO write but when I try everything comes out as crap and I certainly don't want to put anything bad up here. Not that the writing is all that good to begin with but hey it's fanfiction! I AM trying and I am so sorry. Most of my writing now is in articles and nonfiction and the book series that I NEED to get finished. For those of you who are reading The Legend of the Sister Cities, I am taking that one down. I'm sorry but I just got my monster from The Shadows Live snatched and put on a TV. show so I'm paranoid and I plan on making that into a book that connects with the afore mentioned book series.

Once again I am so sorry! I will be adding things to some stories like: The Outsider, and probably rewriting some others.

I'm going to keep trying. I'm not giving up on you guys! I swear it! This is not the end! (Dramatic sword raise or something...)


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